Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Happy Birthday Mom. Mind you she'll probably never even read this. It's the thought that counts I guess.

I most definately had a weird day yesterday. Weird in a good way. I managed to cut some strings, but it seems that every time I cut a string, a new one appears. I was told last night that this is the way London works. Especially for a born-and-raised here gal like me. Things are always moving, people are always coming and going. It's hard to be still, even just for a moment.

So I put partial blame on this city for my lack of discipline, commitment and concentration.

I hardly got anything done during my vacation. The only project I was able to finish was a scarf that I'd started last year for my cousin. Jeez, I can't even finish a simple project like a scarf from start to finish, how am I supposed to go back to school?

As much as I'd miss everyone here, I can't wait to get the hell out of here and start moving forward with my life. I feel like I'm stuck here and I don't understand why...

I'm not particularly close with my family. I'm not working a serious DJing gig here, just the odd Spotlight and radio appearance. I'm not in a relationship with anyone. I don't own a house or a car. I have friends here that I'd miss, but friendships come and go, the close one's would keep in touch anyways. The only thing I have a huge emotional attachment to is my dog, Madison. She could be a huge reason why I'm still here.

Regardless, I know that as long as I am here I can't get my 'ducks in a line'. So that's another step I'd have to take, getting out of London. The where's and how's still need to be figured out. The hard part is going to be making myself sit still for a while to figure this stuff out...

:^)